7:35 AM

Bus'n and Blog'n

So the fact is that I'm a bit technologically inept. My good friend Julie actually had to build this blog for me and now, almost 4 months into 3 hours woth of commuting per day I've figured out how to blog while riding on the bus. I like to call it technologically inept, but the fact is its just my own stupidity. But we'll leave that just between you and me.. Ok? Good!

So speaking of this commute from the island of staten into the daily mecca that is new york city, what an experience. People truly amaze me. Between those that keep their bag on the sit so you can't sit to the serenaders on the 1 train that have somehow convinced themselves that they can indeed sing. Not the case. But there was one day last month that was actually quite amazing. I had left the healthclub and was walking with a member and talking about healthy diet options... She couldn't understand what was wrong with her daily breakfast of a large coffee with cream and sugar and a bagel with cream cheese..."But its veggie cream cheese".. Oh ok... Anyway, I digress, so we're having this conversation and we are taking the 1 train. When all of a sudden there was this voice... I mean seriously the most amazing voice I've heard in my life... She was singing something operatic.. I think it was in italian.. She was of spanish decent.. Well needless to say everybody in the train car was captivated... As she sang her piece, we all looked at each other and smiled... Some people mouthed words like "amazing" and "beautiful"... And yes it was... I couldn't get to my wallet quick enough to help her fill that wool hat she was toting around... Now this is how to travel!!! Unfortunately she was getting off at the Times Square stop.. But let me tell you, for a commute that's usually cold and unfriendly that one day in december we had a train car that was unified and full of chatter... After the girl with the pipes left, we all continued to talk about what a priviledge that was to listen to that... I'm still thinking about it.. Unreal...

Well I just went over the verrazano bridge and am on my daily trek into the city... I can feel the woman next to me thinking "wow he's writing a long message on his blackberry.. What could be so important?"... Hey lady, I'm blogging! And hopefully I can stay true to it this time... Maybe if I knew I had a reader or 5, it would motivate me!! So let me know if you read The BobbyK Weigh.. And maybe, just maybe I'll make this a daily thing (or something of the sort).. Have a great and healthy day baby!
7:41 PM

Back in the mix!

Holy crap! Talk about a "leave of absence"... Sorry I've been out of the loop for so long, life has been hectic to say the least (don't we all say that?). Well since I last checked in I've moved out of Boston and back to the motherland a.k.a Staten Island, NY... I was relocated/promoted for work and am now serving as the Assistant Fitness Manager at The Reebok Sports Club on the Upper West Wide of NYC...

I am not ashamed to say that I have really taken the term "motherland" a step further, as I have indeed moved in with my mother... and father... and the cat...(ok, I'm a little ashamed but whatever). It made the most sense for right now to move in with the 'rents. My parents (Paul and Roberta) are retired and they are able to watch over Jack all day, so that's my primary reason for being home... oh then there's the whole saving a shit-load of money thing... yeah, that's pretty cool too... The hour and twenty minute commute to work each way, not so cool... but Bobby, remember.. you're saving money... so suck it up! And so I do and so it goes....

I'm really enjoying my new job... my direct reports are all pretty great and the trainers I work with are very talented and fun to be around... but to be honest, I definitely miss Boston, miss the New England fall, miss my girlfriend and even her yappy little dog, Dolly... but this season of life has me in New York and I am actively deciding to focus on the positives... Fun job, reconnecting with old friends, watching my nephews play sports, being present for my eldest nephew's college search (which makes me feel like Father Time), getting dinner and lunch made for me every day as well as all my laundry getting done (have I mentioned I'm the spoiled youngest of 4 children and the apple of my mothers eye..hahahaha)

To lay it out plainly, Boston is where I became a man. It's where I lost 140 pounds. It's where I adopted a dog, saw him through surgery and cared for him for the last 3 years of his paralyzed state. It's where I've built friendships and relationships that run deeper than what I knew as deep. It's where I stopped smoking. It's where I can shop healthy everywhere as Trader Joes, Whole Foods and Farmers markets are as common as delicatessens are in New York. It's where I met a beautiful woman who has shown me that low maintenance, beautiful women do indeed exist. It's my home away from home.

Already in New York I have battled my demons of the past. Do I have a cigarette? Do I eat some of the crap food that resides in Paul and Roberta's cabinets? Do I focus on the negatives? No Bobby. You don't do that. Will you stumble? Yes. You're fallible. But you've grown. You've grown past the trivial temptations that used to dominate and define your world... You are strong! So stop bitching and remember how good your life is and how God has blessed you. And if you feel a little overwhelmed, over matched or just plain beat, take a look on the living room floor. If I ever need a reminder of how to overcome the bullshit, I once again think and look at Jack. Paralyzed and without complaints. Just happy to be alive. Thanks again Jack. You always know how to put things in perspective.
2:08 PM

My itsy bitsy spider

Is it odd that I have a spider in my bathroom that I refuse to get rid of? He's been there for about 2 weeks and I've even named him. Frankie. I say good morning and good night to him every day. I ask him questions like, "Are you gonna spin any new webs today?" and "should I have oatmeal or an apple this morning?" The sad thing, is that sometimes I expect an answer back. Wow, getting older is making me wierder :)

On a side note I just got off the phone with the doctor. Yesterday I lifted a 5-year-old child and decided it would be fun to play "tickle torture". I forgot that from the lifted position, this child has legs that dangle down and were perfectly hanging near Bobby's scrotum area. Foot meet pills. I never wanted to commit child abuse so bad in my life. I'm still feeling it today. In fact, as I type this at my desk at work, I have a bag of ice down my pants. The doctor told me everything will be ok. Well, they don't feel too ok right now.

I'm really looking forward to this Memorial Day weekend. Have 3 BBQs and a 5 mile race planned through Boston. Good times. In preperation for the weekend of potential calorie and fat abuse, I've eaten very clean this week. I've even pre-planned to bring healthy food to 2 of the BBQs so that I can eat what I want at one of them. Preperation is the name of the game. As long as I keep my alcohol consumption in check I should be golden.

Well have a fantastic weekend everyone, my ice has turned to water and I'm in need of a change.

4:39 PM

The dog that keeps on ticking....

So here I am again, obsessing about my dog. Man, oh, man what a dog. This past weekend I took him on an experimental trip on a kayak onto the Charles River in Boston. Now I know whenever he gets excited or nervous a certain piece of nature comes-a-callin'. I obviously ignored this piece of knowledge. As the boat-helper-guy was holding the boat next to the dock so that I could load Jack and Bobby into the boat, sure enough, Jack took a rather lodge crap in the back of the boat. I felt a little embarrassed by this but what can you do? I scooped it up and moved on....

It was a great day on the kayak. Jack got used to it pretty quickly and really started to enjoy it. It really made my day to see him so happy. Thanks to my friend Bethanie for helping me with the paddling.

The next day after our little kayak adventure, I was rubbing Jack's ears (as I usually do) and at one point he yelled out this big doggy yelp. Every time I hear him make this noise, it reminds me of when he went paralyzed, it brings up some pretty crappy memories. So I looked onto his big, pointy right ear and he had some kind of lump on it that was causing him pain. During the course of the day, that ear began to be "not so pointy". It actually looked kinda cute as he would have one ear up and one ear down.

I brought Jack to the animal hospital the next day and they told me that this was common with dogs. They gave me some meds and told me that when it heals, it will probably stay in that downward position and look "crippled". At first I got a little emotional thinking about not being able to see my handsome boy look at me with those big pointy, expressive ears. But the more I thought about it, I thought it's just another testament to what a resilient dog he is. In his lifetime Jack has been homeless, paralyzed, no urinary or bowel control and now a stunted right ear. How many dogs do you know that have been though all this before their 7th birthday? The doctor told me that if I want I could have surgery done to the tune of $1,200 so that the ear sticks up again, but guess what... he doesn't care how he looks, so why should I? He's just happy to be alive, running in his wheelchair and spending time with his dad. Jack, I continue to love you for the spirit you have and the love you bring into my life. You never stop teaching me new life lessons.

And as always, Thank you God for the opportunity to care for such an amazing dog.

3:24 PM

Changing gears....

So I've been debating on whether or not this blog should have more of a "weightloss/motivation" feel or a "my life with Jack" feel.... or maybe it would be better to go with the combination platter (aka a little of both). I think for now I'm going to stick with the combo just to mix it up a bit... good? Good.

So now that I just wrote that, I'm of course now going to write about something that has nothing to do with either of those things. Haha... I'm such an ass. I've really been struggling lately with my own motivation and procrastination. To be honest, I've dealt with this my whole life with glimpses of brilliance mixed in. What do I mean by that? I mean I would never do ANYTHING ahead of time. Assignments for school, deadlines for work, and now writing this blog among a slew of other things. I really don't like this about me. The worst part about it is I'll spend an hour or 2 a night watching TV (baseball usually) instead of doing what I should be doing. It really pisses me off. I need to be more productive with my time. I really think I've reached my breaking point or if you will "hit my wall" with this (this will sound like a familiar term to my clients).

I am making a pledge right now to blog 2-3 times per week. I am also going to start filming nutrition tips and putting them on www.fit-tube.com. I've also been working with a writer friend of mine on a project about Jack. I'm going to start recording clips of him. I know all of this is in me (and a lot more), so now I just have to put it all into action. I wanted to lose 140 pounds, I did it. I wanted to care for a paralyzed dog, did that. Run a half marathon, done. Try my hand at vegetarianism, check. So now, for the good of me, all that I am and all I aspire to be I will continue to make more commitments that will ultimately reward my life. I want this. I will do it. I want to live to the max. I ask you all who read this to keep me accountable (thank you to my good friend Julie who does this already). Don't be afraid to say to me "Hey dipshit, where's your blogs?" Or "How's the video clips coming along?" I need that. My mind is out to screw me out of what I dream and deserve. Don't we all go through this in some way shape or form? Don't we think that we're not good enough? That we don't deserve the amazing things in life that God has in store for us? Screw that... I'm done with that noise.... OK, I'm off to buy a damn video camera and learn how to use it. As for you my friends, go do whatever it is you have been procrastinating on. Check it off your list. Live your life and for God's sake... be GREATER than GREAT!

Motivated and kickin' ass--
1:03 PM

Shouldn't "Diets" be called "Liveits"?

I always thought it was a bit ironic and a bit comical that the word DIET had the word DIE in it. But isn't it true? How many diets do you know of are built for a healthy lifestyle and lifelong health as opposed to the "quick fix" that we all tend to look for? Shouldn't we look to implement in our lives an eating and nutrition regimen that supports our lifestyle and can be carried with us through all of our years? But noooooooooooo. What do we do? We eat the way we were taught to eat (that would be with complete reckless abandon), then look for the "quick fix". It is time to change the way we think about "Dieting" and start "Liveiting" (again... making up words).

As humans we are so influenced by our upbringing as it pertains to eating. How do our parents eat? What ancestery do we come from? What foods are accessible in our house? We are "wired" from a young age to think a certain way about food and this is how our relationship with food is formed. Well guess what... it's time for a break up from that relationship. I know, I know. Breaking up is hard to do (if you know this 1950's diddy, please sing along). It definitely comes with it's pains. There is the initial "Not a problem, I can do this" phase (Let's call it phase #1). Followed by the "Oh my God, I miss him/her/it soooo much" phase (#2). Soon after comes the "I can't live without him/her/it"(#3) and then the eventual "I'm better off without him/her/it" phase (#4). When we take this diet journey though, we usually always get caught inbetween phase 2 and 3, which inevitabally leads us back to where we really don't want to be.

We've all been in those relationships that we just shouldn't be in. Unhealthy, toxic and just plain BAD. Even getting through those relationships we usually go through the aforementioned phases. Those relationships do not have a solid foundation and positive boundries to help mold a successful relationship. Isn't this the same with food? You bet your ass it is. Since we are "wired" to act/think a certain way with food, and since this way of being isn't working, aren't you ready for a change? Most people like to go about this life change in a gradual way. "I'll start off eating a healthier breakfast like Raisin Bran". OK, a couple things... FIRST OFF, Raisin Bran sucks. Secondly, going about it gradually sucks. If you're going to do it, GO ALL IN! "But Bobby, I don't work that way"... Yes you do... you just tell yourself you don't. If you start eating what you deem healthier in a gradual way, you will probably fail. Why? Because there are too many mental exits that exist. So you start off with your healthy breakfast. Then eat like ass for lunch and dinner and everything in between. You think you will have the momentum to go right back to eating a healthy breakfast the next day? And the day after that? And after that? C'mon... don't lie to me, or yourself... just not going to happen! MOMENTUM AND CONSISTENCY PEOPLE!!!

Make the choice today to change your eating habits. Clean out those cabinets and that box of shit you call a refridgerator. Buy and keep a large bottle of water with you all day, every second of the day. Hire a nutrition counselor to get support on what to eat/not eat and how to eat. SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS!

OK-- that's my rant for today... Live a great day!

Kickin' some ass--
Bobby K
9:15 AM

P is for Paul, Pissed off and Priorities.

Paul, my oldest brother, and I are very close. Paul has always been very much my "protector" during my younger years. There are 10 years between us and he has and still does refer to me as "his baby" (even though I'm 32 years old). Paul has lived the rough life for the majority of his years. He's had his battle and trials, and his come out on the other end a better person.

Recently (as in Superbowl Sunday, 2010) Paul suffered a massive heartattack. I had just left Staten Island (my hometown) from a weekend hanging out with him and the family on my way back to Boston. That evening, when I heard the news, I turned around and drove right back. Upon arriving at the hospital in the cardiac unit I asked where I can find him, and they pointed me to the last room on the right. As I entered the room, I was a little rattled by seeing my older brother laid out on the bed with all the wires and tubes running their way in and out of his body. I had tried to prepare myself ahead of time for this, so I think I gave off the "calm vibe" when he saw me initially. That calm vibe was about to change.

As I sat there with him, talking with him and getting reports on how he felt, a hospital staffer brought in lunch. Now remember we are in the CARDIAC UNIT at a very well known and respected hospital in Staten Island. Upon lifting the lid of the lunch tray, my shit really hit the fan. FRIED CHICKEN? MACARONI AND CHEESE? WHATTTTT?!?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. I believe those were my exact words. I immediately grabbed the attending nurse and demanded to speak to the head nutritionist. She told me that the nutritionist would come down to speak to us (well, that never happened). I called my mother and asked her to make some grilled chicken, vegetables and quinoa to bring to my brother. I was heated to say the least.

Now let's put this into perspective, shall we. My brother, who is about 80 pounds overweight, just had not one, but 2 heart attacks (they later found out that the heart attack that landed him in the hospital was the second he had suffered in the last week) and just found out he had type 2 diabetes recieved the old Kernel Sanders special with a side of cheesy pasta? I mean, c'mon! I'm getting heated all over again just writing this damn blog entry. What is wrong with us people? Is there a question why our national healthcare is in the shitter and the obesity epidemic is running rampid when our "scholars" think Mac'n cheese and fried chicked is the best possible meal for my brother in this condition. This transcends the word stupid. In fact I'm going to make up a new word right now to exhibit how idiotic this is. Dumbestshitever. There it is. OK, enough of my rant.

So what I was getting at in this whole blog entry is that for YEARS I have been asking, begging and pleading with my brother to eat better, quit smoking (even though in the past I had been known to have a smoke here and there on my trips back to the Island of Staten), and live healthier. I had pleaded with my parents to PLEASE start cooking better for themselves and the family. The annoying thing is that when I travel back to NY for a weekend trip, Roberta (my mom) will go all out and cook healthy for her baby (that would be me). Quinoa, Tempeh, Millet, Tofu, Vegetables galore. I mean some seriously awesome, healthy and DELICIOUS shit here people. Then when I leave to go back to Boston, she goes right back to cooking the crap. WHAT?!?!?! You know better! I definitely get worked up when I talk to her and could probably be more diplomatic in my approach, but this is what happens when passion and desire overspill. I'm sure you know what this is like. We've all been there in one way or another. It's like having a child and telling them not to touch the hot stove, because it will hurt them, but you know how this story ends. The difference with this analogy and my crusade to have my family eat better is that if they ignore the warnings and continue to "touch the stove", they will only know the repercussions of their choices when it is too late when they have some disease or body malfunction.

It annoys me so much that as a society we are all so programmed to be REACTIVE as opposed to PROACTIVE. Let's fix the problem before it starts instead of keep doing stupid shit. We look back and say "oh yeah, that probably wasn't a good choice", and then deal with the consequences (ie-pain, medication, death). My brother Paul, only now, has changed his eating habits and quit smoking because of the threat of death. He now comes to me for health and exercise advice, as it is now I who feels like the protector of my older brother in some sort of way.

Does death have to knock on your door to get your attention? You may say, "That won't happen to me, I'm young, have good genetics, appear to be thin, yada frickin yada".... it's not gonna save your health people. BE PROACTIVE! Change your eating habits now! Go to a health food store or farmers market. Learn to read ingredients. Put positive foods into your body. Will it possibly cost more? Probably. But if you're going to invest in ANYTHING, shouldn't this be it? It's your health we're talking about! Make it your priority. Get on board and do this! It'll be the best thing you can do... this comes with a guarantee!

All fired up and kicking ass,
BK (That would not stand for Burger King)